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loss

  • I Was There

    Someone I knew died this year. The people who loved him grieved loudly. They shared photographs. Saved belongings. Got tattoos. Wrote about regret, strained relationships, and how badly they wished for just a few more minutes with him. I watched from a distance, and I felt nothing about his passing. I stayed quiet. Death has… Read more

  • Changing Shape

    If someone looked only at the statistics of my life, they might summarize it with a short sentence: three marriages, three divorces. Numbers are tidy that way. They flatten years of love, struggle, growth, and change into something that looks like 1 simple fact from the outside. But real relationships are not tidy. They are… Read more

  • The Feeling Of Being Loved

    Can you share a positive example of where you’ve felt loved? Back in 2008, I met a man named Jason. We found each other online during a strange pause in my life—right after I broke my foot. He lived in the same town, knew some of the same people. Our paths had circled each other… Read more

  • Euphoria

    Euphoria feels like your chest cracked open and light rushed in, like gravity briefly lost interest in you and let you float an inch above your own life. Colors sharpen, your body hums, and for a rare, suspiciously generous moment, everything makes sense and hurts less at the same time. While I’ve certainly been through… Read more

  • Bittersweet Christmas

    Back in October I was able to find a roof through a friend of a friend. We are now staying in the home of a guy named Chris. He had a spare bedroom, so the boys and I were able to take it until we get on our feet again. That way we can all… Read more