Today I gained a small victory. I call it small, but honestly, it feels huge to me — and for Felix. For the first time, Felix let me cut his hair with no tears.

When Felix was one, he had his first haircut at a traditional kids’ salon with scissors and clippers. He did great, and we got that little lock of hair with the certificate to mark the moment. It was sweet.

Since then, though, I’ve taken on the job myself. I’m no barber or stylist by any stretch, so I’ve usually just buzzed it short, leaving him mostly bald.

Around age two, that became a BIG problem. Felix developed fears around certain sounds, and one of them was the very quiet buzzing of clippers. Haircuts became difficult for both of us, and salon visits weren’t even an option anymore. The moment we stepped inside and he heard clippers anywhere in the room, he would go straight into meltdown mode and we’d have to leave. Needless to say, that ruled out the typical boys’ cut with scissors too.

So home buzzcuts became the norm. I justified going super short because the experience was so stressful for him — shorter hair meant more time before we had to go through it again. Still, pulling out the clippers felt like triggering a full-blown tragedy. Eventually, Felix would melt down just at the sight of them. I’d need someone to help hold him while he fought, screamed, and cried the whole time. I always felt awful, but I only did it when his hair was getting into his ears and eyes, which he also hates.

The last couple of haircuts started to improve. Two cuts ago, I pulled out the clippers ahead of time and set them on the counter. I talked to Felix about what I was going to do and gave him time to process. Then we sat together on the kitchen floor and I buzzed his hair. There were still protests and tears, but it wasn’t quite as intense. The next time, I did the same thing, and it was a little better again.

This time, I left the clippers out on the bathroom counter for about three days. He saw them every time he brushed his teeth or took a shower. Each time, he noticed them, and I calmly reminded him we’d be using them to cut his hair soon.

After breakfast this morning, once he’d played for a while, he came into the bathroom with me before his shower. I told him we were going to cut his hair first. I sat on the bathroom floor with the clippers and turned them on and off a few times so he could adjust to the sound. He whimpered and looked a little shaky from fear and anxiety.

Then I asked him to sit with me — and he did. No hesitation. He sat right down on the floor with me.

This time I was even able to use an attachment so he could keep some of his hair, and he cooperated so well. He whined a little at first, but he didn’t fight or cry. After a few minutes, even the whining stopped. He stayed calm. He stayed brave. I kept telling him how wonderfully he was doing and how proud I was of him.

When I finished, I made sure he knew we were all done and that he looked great. I also made sure he watched me put the clippers away. All done.

Then he happily got in the shower, and we’ve gone about our day ever since. No major stress. No trauma this time.

If things keep moving in this direction, we won’t have to wait months between haircuts anymore. And I have to admit — I love seeing him with some hair left this time. I love Felix’s hair, and it’s nice to actually see it after a haircut for once.